Září 2017

Relationships. (full on english, fuck you, if dont understand)

8. září 2017 v 21:40 | End
Yeah... Relationships. Guess I can talk about this. I. HATE. RELATIONSHIPS. They are so hard to maintain. You cant control anything. You cant say almost anything, because youre scared, that it would destroy that relationship. And you cant get too close either. If you do and you fuck it up, your sadness destroys you. I hate when that happens. Why am I talking about this? You dont need to fucking know. Right now, Im alone, even tho Im not supposed to be. Im supposed to have company. But I dont. I dont know why. Maybe because this relationship is lasting for 3 years and it fucks me up every time I think about it. The biggest problem is me. I place my trust in people and then they stab me in the back. I hate being so weak. My anxiety isnt helping either. My insecurity is taking control over my mind. Its creating the worst possible realities. Im scared. Scared of being replaced. Chris is whispering in my ear. Asking, why did I even try? I dont know. I dont know, why I keep trying. JUST FUCKING WHY?! I HATE THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT INSECURITY!!! I HATE, THAT IM NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING!!!! FUCK!!!!!!